Sunday 4 January 2009

Going official

Let's face it, everyone wants to be appreciated.

Attention, accolades, awards, acceptance; nearly any form of appreciation is welcomed by people in general. Why should I be different? Maybe there's an argument based on individuality and striking out against the norm but to be honest everyone's different anyway so realistically people are actually just more or less successful at conforming or not conforming. Not all punks are the same and not all goths are either - it's just sometimes the differences are difficult to spot below the stained and stigmatised surface.

I am aware that "Going official" is not as exciting a title as "My rampant threesome in Zimbabwe" but I feel it's more suitable, mainly as I have never been to Zimbabwe, but mainly as I've now stopped polluting my facebook profile with notes about whatever has recently caught my train of thought for longer than an hour or two. After A friend explained it was pretty much the same thing, here I am. Going official.

I fear people who hope this blog will turn into a wild torrent of sexual exploits and titillating thrills so that they can escape a life so boring it has stopped them being able to find these things for themselves will be disappointed. I am not in the habit of sharing my personal life, at least until after it's no longer personal, so if its sexploits and sexercise you're hoping to find here you'd best get on your bike and move on.

Although there will be recurring references to Elisha Cuthbert. Just take a moment to think about that; if you read my blog I will reward you with images of Elisha Cuthbert. In varying contexts.

If you don't know who she is, either the Online University of Google or the miracle of Wikipedia can enlighten you. Once you have found out my offer may be more tempting.

Another thing I will not be doing is talking about my day-to-day life generally in every post. One of the first blogs I read was so dully mundane that it made me want to tear my eyes out and feed them to a small goat. While appreciate that not everybody gets up, takes a shower, watches TV goes to work, and comes home to eat and watch mroe TV, possibly going out later, it is in fact something that I can do myself. I do not want to read about how someone else was ooo-ing and ah-ing over whether to go out with a friend after I've done just that and decided against it. My advice to people who decide not to go out is don't read blogs! You'll get caught in a nearly endless loop of mass indecision about social activities. It's not worth it. Just go out instead.

Nor will I post images of attractive friends or celebrities for the simple reason of enticing bored gamers who want to be entertained mildly while the wait for enough people to join their party on WoW. If you want that kind of quick, cheap and easy thrill go Google Elisha Cuthbert.

What I will be doing is attempting to entertain you in an intellectually stimulating manner. Mostly. I hope you enjoy reading future posts that actually have a point, but for now I must fly - I have to decide whether I should go out tonight or read indecisive blogs.